What I've Learned from the MOB

I'm a member of the MOB.  It's not what you are thinking.  MOB stands for Mothers of Boys.  We are a group of eight women who have sons--no daughters.  We meet on the first Monday of the month to reassure each other that whatever has happened was not our fault.

Our early meetings dealt with the sorrow some felt for not having a daughter, but I think we got over that pretty quick.  Mostly we enjoy a yummy lunch and give each other advice about the messy business of raising boys.  Among the eight of us we have 21 sons, and over the course of ten years I think I've heard just about every misguided, ill-advised, and idiotic thing that a boy could think of doing.

The following three are some of the common themes we've covered.  These are not the topics that require ER doctors, apology letters to the principal or bail bondsmen, but rather some simple wisdom that all mothers of boys are relieved to hear.

1) Girls Own Pre-School
Walk into any classroom and observe.
Music: Girls sing.  Boys poke each other and make noises with their armpits.
Art: Girls cut a leaf from construction paper in every color.  Boys amputate one leaf and have sword fights with the scissors.
Storytime: Girls listen attentively to the story of the rabbit in the garden eating carrots and peas.  One boy says, "Pees!" and everyone starts laughing and you find another note taped to your son's locker.

2) 8th Grade Boys Don't Shower
Beginning in junior high, boys start to stink.  They also resist the shower.  Beware that they sometimes go into the bathroom, run the water, but don't get in.  There's nothing to do but hold your nose.  Next year they'll go to high school and discover girls and then you'll be asphyxiated by Axe body spray.

3) Shut up when you carpool
While girls love to talk about who is going to Homecoming, who had  party while the parents were out of town, and who is flunking math, boys tell nothing.  But if you remain completely silent while carpooling, they sometimes forget you are there.  One day in my car, three boys revealed the name of the girl they liked and then asked my son.
"I don't know," he responded.  "Who do you recommend?"

The MOB shares math tutors, sport coats, piano teachers, orthopedic surgeons and soup recipes.  But mostly we share our stories and ourselves.  Mothering boys is an extreme sport.  Do not attempt it at home without a MOB of your own.

With love to Linda, Jil, Carine, Annie, Caryn, Margie and Deb.